Butt in Seat

If there is one thing many writers want to hear less, but so do need to hear more, is that writing is work. Bona fide, sit-down-and-do-it work.

I’ve been writing in one form or another since school, and have been pursuing writing as something more than assignments and journal entries since the early 1990s and find this is still a piece of advice I struggle to consistently put into practice. I want to be inspired, have an idea that just won’t go away, and then be able to sit down and have it flow out of me with ease and grace. I don’t want it to be work! I have enough work to do already, thank you very much! Why should I set a schedule or word count goal or whatever unless I really feel like it? (Outside of November for the National Novel Writing Month challenge, that is?)

But wait . . . when I feel like? Oi, how many things do I have to do whether I feel like it or not? And really, do I want to go strictly by what I feel? Do any of us? We know how fickle our emotions can be, turning on a dime some days and blowing things out of proportion on others because we haven’t had enough sleep or jumping on the bandwagon as we get caught up in the moment.

Now I’m not saying feelings or emotions are bad things. God included them in our design. But we cannot allow ourselves to be ruled by them. If we did, little of import would actually ever get done. Even Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, did not feel like going all the way to the cross as evidenced by His asking God to “ . . . if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. . .” (Matt. 26:39b, NKJ). But He knew He needed to, was supposed to follow this through and so was able to pray “. . . nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” (Matt. 26:39c)

We may not be facing tasks as big or as daunting or as just plain scary, really, as the one Jesus had before Him. But we can still learn from His example: Even when our feelings are wanting us to take the easy route, to forego what in the grand scheme of things is short-term pain for long-term gain (2 Cor. 4:17), we can still choose to put those feelings aside and do what is right. And what awaits us on the other side of the task -- the reward, the benefits -- may very well take our breath away. God is faithful, after all.

So put your butt in the seat before you, and get to work. It will be worth it all in the end to hear God say on that final day “Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.” (Matt. 25:21, NKJ)

A New Year and Another New Day

I hope everyone had a great time ringing the old year out and the new one in with family and friends!

Keep On Swimming

“‘Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could’ve done better but what good do what ifs do?”

*~ “Forget and Not Slow Down” by Relient K

I’ve been looking through old blog entries and journal entries, and have been doing my best to recall what I have set for goals in previous years and I’ve noticed a trend.

I repeat.

I’m going to write more. Improve my marriage. Lose weight. Organize my house. Do right all the things I’ve previously done wrong.

Yet by the time another year draws to a close, I feel as though I’m not any further ahead. My house is still disorganized. I still can’t fit into the jeans I wore however many years ago. The areas I wanted to work on in my marriage are still ‘meh’. And the manuscript I was going to tackle has maybe had a page or two added to it.

But after many listens to Relient K’s song “Forget and Not Slow Down” and, in particular the lines quoted at the top, I think I’ve finally clued into what the problem is:

My perspective is all wrong.

I’ve been so busy looking over my shoulder and reminding myself of the mistakes I had best not be repeating with a good dose of “If onlys” thrown in that I’ve lost sight of where I wanted to go. In a way, I have been using my past to determine my future. And I’m sure you can figure out what that means. Yup, I’m repeating my past. Over and over and over again.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t lessons for me to learn from past mistakes. There have been lessons learnt, and there will be more to learn in the days ahead. It’s a part of life. But in order to better “Keep on swimming” and to get to a new destination, I need to look in the right direction so I don’t end up going off-track.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understadning.
Seek His will in all you do,
and He will show you which path to take.

*~ Proverbs 3: 5-6 (NLT)

Cleaning and Legacies

“Not well-traveled, not well-read
Not well-to-do, or well-bred
I just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one”

*~“Legacy” by Nicole Nordeman

I need to clear stuff out of my house. Both my husband and I do. Even better, we both realize this and are finally beginning to do just that (contrary to the way some piles are growing as we work our way through the rooms of our home). Oi, this was all much easier to do when we were getting ready for a move. Whatever we did not want to bring into the new house was tossed/donated, and what we were taking was neatly packed away. Now we have to just sort and put in order and . . . but it's best to stop the whining and just get through the stuff we've accumulated over the last nine (almost ten!) years.

This in-depth house cleaning has also let to my taking stock of different things I have going on in my day-to-day routines. What needs to be tossed or kept in terms of habits and the like? Which then leads to questions about what I want to be remembered for when my time here is done. Will people look at this life and see God’s hand in it? Will there be lives that have been touched in a positive way because I allowed Him to work through me and in me? Was I salty? Was I an accurate reflection of God (at least in part – He is so big!)?

Or will this life be remembered for its frivolity? A “me-first” type of mentality? For opportunities missed or squandered?

Now I’m not going to go down a road of despair and self-flagellation. That doesn't create the kind of change I'm looking for. But there are things which need to be cleared out. I mean, how much time do I need to spend online reading this 'n' that? How many TV shows do I really need to be watching? How much attention do I really need to be paying to me and my ‘stuff’? Isn’t the focus all to be on God anyway? Am I really being a servant?

Lots of questions and not a lot (if any) answers at this point, I know. But as I'm often reminded there are always going to be things which need to be thought on, changes which need to be made. As my pastor has said many times (probably because it needs to be heard many times), God loves me just the way I am but He loves me too much to leave me that way. I'll always be a work-in-progress on this side of heaven. Oh, may there be work and may there be progress, Lord, so I may one day hear these words ringing joyfully in my ears:

“His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’”

*~Matthew 25:21 (NKJ)

Creating New Normals

I must say I am rather pleased to have achieved the following:



Yes, I took on the challenge once again to write 50 000 words in the month of November. But not just any old words, mind you, but novel-type words! Oh, yes! And of the 51 176 words I finished with yesterday evening, I hope to dig out a bona-fide story. (That's the beauty of National Novel Writing Month -- you give yourself permission to ignore your inner editor and just focus on getting various ideas and metaphors and, yes, some craptastic scenes on the page.)

But I had another goal beyond getting out a novella. I had long been thinking I needed to get back in the habit of writing more than a couple of times a month, whether it be working on some devotional pieces or on the novel I started a couple of years ago. So with this year's NaNoWriMo, I determined to work on my novel every day for 30 consecutive days. And on all but one of my novelling days, I managed to churn out at least 1667 words. With the novel being done, I have worked on some writing today and will again tomorrow to properly finish off the 30 day goal.

Time and again I've read writing involves just sitting your butt in the chair and just writing. This month I did that with not just the goal of hitting the 50 000 word mark, but of also creating a new normal where it is what I do every day in the months ahead.

My inner editor, however, may have to wait until tomorrow to come back out. ;-)

Blind Spots

If I had not such a blind spot
Would I have a less difficult time
Surrendering my ways?

*~“Something Heavenly” by downhere

We often don't want to talk about our blind spots. I mean, who wants to admit to their flaws, foibles and simply put, our annoying behaviour? It's hard, to say the least. And the biggest part of the problem, too, lies in the fact it's a 'blind' spot. As in we're not seeing it. It seems easier to just not worry about it. I mean, no one's perfect, right?

The flip side of the coin (for me, anyway – yours may be different) is we can spend too much time looking for those blind spots, for things that could be wrong and therefore need to be fixed in us or by us or because of us. We can lose sight of God's goodness and grace, of the works He has done and is doing in us. This can open the door for condemnation, guilt, and an overall sour view of ourselves and the world. In short, it can hinder God's work in us.

The following verse has been brought to my mind today as I've been looking for what I'm, well, not seeing in myself:

What we read in Scripture is, “Abraham entered into what God was doing for him,
and that was the turning point. He trusted Got to set him right
instead of trying to be right on his own.”

*~ Romans 4:3 (The Message)

God knows where my blind spots are, what needs to be worked out of me and what needs to be worked into me. And He won't overwhelm me with changes. The prophet Isaiah wrote:

Whom will he teach knowledge?
And whom will he make to understand the message?
. . . For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept,
Line upon line, line upon line,
Here a little, there a little.
*~ Isaiah 28: 9a, 10 (NKJ)

And we're also instructed by the apostle Paul in Philippians 4:8 to meditate upon good things, praiseworthy things. To get bogged down in all the things we see wrong does not help us remember God's goodness and grace, nor (as I'm sure many have experienced) does it help us to make positive changes in our lives.

God doesn't ask for us to be perfect. He asks us to trust Him and to obey Him, to go where He leads us and to share the awesomeness of His salvation through Jesus' death and resurrection with the world. Yes, we're going to stumble. We'll probably falter a time or two as well. But if we can keep moving forward by the power of God's grace and the world sees that . . . well, we'll all have a few less blind spots.

I Know You Are, But What Am I? Oh . . .

"In some sense, we are all hypocrites in transition." ~Erwin McManus

I had started this entry a little while ago, but tucked it away as too many other things were bouncing through my head and life at the time, but some things have settled down and others I have settled into so it seems a good time to pick it up again. Also, how can one resist the following plea from the comments section of my last post?

*poke poke* Update please? *begs prettily*

I would bug this dear woman (and good friend!) about updating her own blog -- Random Thoughts, for which there is a link at the left -- but she has been doing just that again, soooo . . . I'm left with the option of updating my own or just shutting up. (By the way, if it has been eons the Random Thoughts blog went between updates, what category would mine fall into update-wise?)

But yes -- us, hypocrites and transition.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a hypocrite is "a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion" or "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings."

Ouch.

But wait a second here . . . look again at the second part of the definition. A hypocrite is someone acting in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings." (emphasis added)

Isn't that, in a sense or to a degree, what Christians must do on a regular basis?

Take my perception of myself, for example. I have spent a good chunk of my life battling with feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Pretty near anyone who knows me could tell you I don't have the best self-image. It is better than what it has been, though. And do you want to know why? Because I'm finally starting to take act in a way which contradicts what I have believed and felt about myself. Regardless of my feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, the fact of the matter is even before the world was made, God loved *me* and chose *me* in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes (Ephesians 1:4, NLT).

Do I always believe this? No. Do I always feel this? No. I still have days where I have to fight to find something positive to say about what I did or about what happened to me. But part of changing my mindset involves changing how I act. Trying to get different results by doing the same thing over and over again is a good definition of insanity, after all.

So then that makes me a hypocrite of some sort, doesn't it?

But in cases such as this, it's something I can deal with and, more importantly, it's something I can allow God to work out in me. To follow the example of minister and author Joyce Meyer, "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be."

And that's okay.