A Couple of Things

No one, I would dare say, likes to get punched in the face.  But it’s amazing how often we’ll do just that to one another with our words, the way we say things, or a mixture of the two.  It’s easy to talk about speaking kinds words to turn away much wrath (Proverbs 15:1) when things are going well, but when people are stressed or tired or frustrated it is easier (but still not right) to let fly with whatever comes to mind without considering the words and/or tone one is using. 

Thankfully, there is grace.  And a sincere apology can do much to mend things.  Though I’d really like to get to the point where I more consistently am able to bite my tongue until I can say things in a way that doesn’t lead to a verbal bop on the nose.  It involves less mess, no scars, and a better result to be enjoyed by all involved. 

But onto something else . . .

I was at Wal-Mart yesterday picking up some odds ‘n’ ends when I purchased the latest issue of Real Simple magazine based entirely on one headline:  “Spring Cleaning Shortcuts:  28 Strategies and Products That Really Work”.  Now I have to actually flip to the article and see if it’s just a giant plug for the products (some of which I may not even be able to get as it’s a U.S. magazine and I live in Canada), or if its tips (and some elbow grease) will help me get my house spiffed up.  Save for the Rooms of Doom.  Because those rooms . . . well, they need more than a spring-cleaning – they need a serious purge.  But those will be taken care of this year.

Hmmm . . . I think I need to seriously check out (and implement) any tips in the article mentioned in the bottom-left corner as well.  ϡ

Wondering Wanderings

I have mentioned in the past I have felt like a Supreme Waffler in matters of faith.  One moment I’m fine with saying, “You know what?  I have faith for XYZ, and that’s okay.  It’s cool.”  But then I’m in a room with people with big, move-entire-mountain-ranges-into-the-sea faith, and I wonder . . . I ponder . . . I (dare I say it?) . . . I doubt.  Not so much in God’s Word or His provisions.  I mean, He’s God – He doesn’t mess things up!  No, it’s more a question of what I’m missing that is keeping mountains from moving (Matthew 17:20) and trees from uprooting (Luke 17:6).

Too often I forget the following:

I realize how kind God has been to me, and so I tell each of you not to think

 you are better than you really are.  Use good sense and measure yourself by

 the amount of faith that God has given you.

~ Romans 12:3 (CEV)

It could very well be, then, that God has given me a measure of faith not the same as the mountain-movers and tree-uprooters.  And there isn’t anything wrong with that.  I’m not bad or evil because I have questions, either.  The thing is to acknowledge them, to look for answers, and to be okay when I’m not finding the sought-for answers.  (At least not yet.  Because I believe one day I’ll see the whole picture and it will make sense.)  My faith will only grow when I move out of my comfortable, having-answers zone, as I hope for and believe for those things that are not yet here in a tangible form.

So it was with thoughts like this in mind that I picked up the book O Me of Little Faith: True Confessions of a Spiritual Weakling by Jason Boyett.  I read it in the days after my mom’s heart surgery when I was filled with ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’, and found a great deal of hope and comfort in reading of someone else’s struggles and questions as he tries to wrap his finite mind around an infinite God.  And I highlighted things like “Faith is . . . believing God will arrive, even if you can barely hear his song right now” and “Jesus doesn’t show up where he’s expected . . . He appears in places we hadn’t thought to look before” and held in my heart the encouragement to keep on keeping on even when my ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ are left hanging in the air.  Now Boyett doesn’t’ say “Hey, everyone!  Doubt!  You’ll be more spiritual!”  That would be crazy talk.  But he does write openly and honestly (with some very funny footnotes) about his own journey.  And through his honesty, I found an answer or two along with a great deal of hope for this journey we’re all on.

I have questions.  I don’t have all the answers.  And sometimes it feels as though the One who does have the answers is silent.  But I’m learning that’s okay.  It doesn’t mean I stop moving.  It means I light another candle of hope and keep moving towards the One who promises that while I may stumble and falter He will never lose His grip on me (Psalm 37:24).

Annnnd . . . Now . . . No? How About . . . Now!?

My first inclination is to blame Walt Disney, specifically his take on the story of Cinderella.  Ah yes, the beautiful young maiden who captures the heart of a prince thanks to the help of her fairy godmother, and no thanks to her evil stepmother and stepsisters.  Yup, all with a ‘bibbity-boppity-boo’ and a wave of a magic want and Cinderella was in the palace.

I mean, why else would I have this crazy idea that insists on lurking in the back of my mind (sometimes in the front, kickin’ in the front seat, sittin’ in the back se—oops, sorry) that I should instantaneously be good at something as soon as I start it or decide to start it?  I mean, I spent at least half an hour over the weekend mapping out some writing goals, so I should be über -disciplined and meeting those goals already, right?

Yet even as I typed out the last paragraph, the ridiculousness of it was ringing in my ears like a chiming clock (and a catchy, if inane, pop tune).  There are many things I can look back on in not only my own life but also in the lives of others and see where time, patience, and diligence are what got us to where we are now.  For instance, it’s with those three things I learned out to drive as a teenager.  It’s how my husband became a talented guitar player.  It’s how our parents, families, and friends have all achieved countless things in their lives. 

And, in a way, it’s how Cinderella got to the point where she was ready to receive the gifts her fairy godmother had for her.  Because you know what we sometimes forget?  The Fairy Godmother didn’t show up until after Cinderella had completed her myriad of chores, until after her animal friends had taken risks and put in the work to make her a dress for the ball.  It is quite possible the tale could have taken another turn if all of the unpleasant circumstances in Cinderella’s life had been jumped over with a wand and a magical song.  She may not have been as grateful, as appreciative, as beautiful in the ways that matter most had she circumvented all of that and had everything simply handed to her on a silver platter.

Just look at her stepsisters.  (Just think of how lovely they would have been (and looked) if they had been kind, nice, and generous!)

So I (and perhaps you, too) need to remember every journey begins with a single step, but it is not completed until many more steps have been taken, one after the other.  And I need to keep at it even (or perhaps especially) when I don’t feel like it, when the ‘easy’ way is so tempting a route to take.  Don’t, to loosely paraphrase Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho, get so caught up in seeking out the treasure – the end result – of your destiny that you don’t actually live out your destiny.  The journey, after all, makes the arrival at the destination all the sweeter and the ball that much more magical.

Tick-Tock, Tickety-Tock

“How much of human life is lost in waiting.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had to wait for my computer to boot up. 

I had to wait for Firefox to get going.

I had to wait for Word to open, and then to open the document I wanted.

I even had to wait for it to allow me to change the alignment for the above quote.

Some days I find it very hard to wait.  It can be especially frustrating when you see people around you not waiting.  They have deadlines to end current jobs and start new ones . . . they are entering into their God-given purpose in life in a way you have yet to experience . . . families are growing and changing, the world is marching on and yet you feel like you’re just sitting there.  It’s not even that you feel like that in your life as a whole.  It could be an area or two or three.  And you find yourself double-checking your number, wondering if you missed the call of ‘Next!’, asking yourself if you’re waiting in the right place and always wondering ‘when’ and ‘how’.

That is why it is a comfort to see time and again in the Bible, in my life, and in the lives of others the faithfulness of God.  We all may get antsy at one time or another as we wait for His timetable to come to pass.  But just as surely as winter leads to spring, so we can know what God has planned for us will come to pass as we follow Him.  May we all learn to rest in and trust Him as we wait. 

So Long & Farewell (To the Past, Not the Blog)

It’s sort of a funny thing, I suppose, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I find it much easier to let go of the mistakes and failures of my ‘pre-Christian’ life than I do of the mistakes and failures I have made since I became a Christian.  It’s like a little voice niggles away in my ear, reminding me of how I really should know better by now.  And while it is true with a good many things that I should be doing better in the areas where I’ve heard better, I have to remember God does not use my past to determine my future.  He didn’t with the children of Israel, as can be seen in the following passage from Isaiah 43:18-19 (The Message):

Forget about what’s happened;

don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.

Besides which God’s grace and mercy are not any less now that I’m one of His kids – that is just my own messed-up thinking getting in the way when that thought pops out. 

Now I was going to wax eloquently (or try to at any rate) about my muck-ups and the aforementioned grace and the things I do need to let go of, but I’m not going to.  Many eulogies have been given (in one form or another) for my past.  Instead, it is time I simply let some things go and leave the gravesite.  As L. Thomas Holdcroft put it, “The past a guidepost, not a hitching post.”  And grave yards sort of squick me out. 

 In the words of Relient K in their song "Forget and Not Slow Down":  

I'd rather forget and not slow down, 

than gather regret for the things I can't change now . . .

what good do "What ifs?" do?

As many of us know, not much good good at all.  So lets bid them all adieu and move on.  

Happiness

Happy Saturday, everyone!  

" . . . "

As you may have noticed, I like to find (and, obviously, read) quotes from other people.  They can be famous or anonymous, serious or funny.  But I like it when they are in some way thought provoking, when I’m challenged in some way, or when they cause me to have a ‘light bulb’ moment.

I entered the following passage from what is known as The Prayer of St. Patrick into the Notes section of my iPhone after my mom had heart surgery (as found in a devotional reading in my Bible):

I arise today

Through a mighty strength:

God’s power to guide me,

God’s might to uphold me,

God’s wisdom to teach me,

God’s eyes to watch over me,

God’s ear to hear me,

God’s Word to give me speech,

God’s hand to guard me,

God’s way to lie before me,

God’s shield to shelter me,

God’s host to secure me:

Against the snares of devils,

Against the seduction of vices,

Against the lusts of nature,

Against everyone who shall wish me ill,

Whether far or near, many or few.

I find something (and I can’t quite put my finger on it) about reading the words, the thoughts and the prayers of fellow believers who have gone on long before me.  The commonality of our questions and musings, the insights and understandings they gleaned can be as relevant today as they were back then.  As always, such things need to be checked against the standard of God’s Word.  But they shouldn’t be tossed out merely because they are old or because, for some, they’re mindless recitations devoid of life or meaning or power. 

That’s just my two cents on a little something. ツ