Sunday, February 17, 2008

I Wonder as I Ponder

I know it says in the Bible not to envy others, and when I think about it, I don't think I'm doing that. But there is something about listening to people talk who know what their purpose in life is and who are doing it which I admire. And it leaves me wondering what am I supposed to be doing?

Chances are I have it figured out on some level, but as some people I know will probably attest to, I'm pretty good at second-guessing my motives and such until I'm not sure which way is up. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a good excuse to not do anything -- you know, if I don't go anywhere or try anything then I can't fail/mess it up/get it wrong.

Then, as it so often happens, a song lyric pops into my head, popping me out of a potential funk:

". . . then laugh at my mistakes
‘cause they're only lessons I’ve learned."
*~ Paul Brandt, "Risk"

Great. Way to change my perspective on things again.

I'm only kidding -- it really is a good thing to have one's perspective changed.

I guess part of my problem is I do get so caught up in my own things, the things I want to do and like to do that I don't take the time to get caught up God and His things and the things He wants me to do. The fleshly part of me fears giving up something I like (which is incredibly selfish, I know); but the non-fleshly parts chafe at this, I think, and I wonder when will I be able to say with certainty "Here is what my purpose is, and here I am doing it."

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
*~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJ)

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