Content (But Not Complacent)

In what was perhaps not the wisest of moves, I went to sleep last night struggling a bit with remembrances of missed opportunities and wonderings as to whether or not certain ships truly have sailed away for good.  I know, I know – I’ve been trying to put such things to rest for a while now, but my brain is not an Etch-a-Sketch.  I cannot give it a really good shake and have all those things disappear, never to be heard from again. And it feels a tad more difficult ‘to let bygones be bygones’ when I get caught up in thinking I’m surrounded by people whose lives are moving forward whereas I keep tripping over the same stones time and again.  But I’m not privy to all their struggles and questions and fights, so who am I to say I’m alone in these struggles?  I know, even though I lose sight of it sometimes, I am not alone.

So I’ve been fighting a little bit of the blues this morning.  But as I’ve seen my husband off to work and taken care of a few non-writing things, I have (however slowly and repeatedly) cast my cares on the One who cares for me.  The Message expresses it beautifully:

So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs.

God’s strong hand is on you;

he’ll promote you at the right time.

Live carefree before God;

he is most careful with you.

~1 Peter 5:6-7

And as I give my head a shake, take a deep breath, and make the conscious decision (and effort) to keep moving forward, I rejoice in the One who made it all possible for me to have another fresh day with another fresh start. 

Oh, and a little ‘banjo music’ (my husband grows tired of it . . .) courtesy of “The Cave” by Mumford & Sons doesn’t hurt either.  ツ

Empty Tomb, Thankful Heart

This is how much God loved the world:

He gave his Son, his one and only Son.

 And this is why:

so that no one need be destroyed;

by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life.

God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son

 merely to point an accusing finger,

telling the world how bad it was.

He came to help, to put the world right again.

~John 3: 16-17 (The Message)

A Bit of Whimsy

“For everything there is a season,

A time for every activity under heaven.”

~Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)

Awhile ago a friend and I were sharing what music we were currently listening to and I, in all innocence, asked her if she had heard the song Fireflies by Owl City as I had (and still do) enjoy it.  To put it mildly, she had heard it a few too many times thanks to The Disney Channel repeatedly playing an ad using that very tune.  (She either wanted to punch someone in the teeth or the throat should she hear the song again.  O_o)

I was listening to the song again on my way home today after a busy day at work and thinking about how life can get so busy and hectic.  We’re running here and there, trying to sort through a million different things and figure out what’s a priority and what isn’t while wondering if we’re doing what really matters, what really counts in the light of eternity.  It can be easy to get bogged down with weighty issues and thoughts.  And I’m not saying any of that is bad.  No, it’s a good thing for me to make sure my priorities are in order, that I’m not being distracted from those things which do matter the most in the long run by what is ultimately frivolous fluff. 

But as my husband can attest to, sometimes I do need a bit of whimsy, something fun and fluffy to keep me from becoming too serious, too worried about this, that and the other. And I agree.  Everything has its season – work, rest, contemplation . . . and even some whimsical songs.  

Do Not Adjust Your Sets

Blog entry in progress . . . check back this evening . . .

Bits of the Picture

The clock is ticking, the cursor is blinking in my Word document, and I’m sorting through a few things (or trying to) as I sip at a cup of herbal tea.  So far, nothing has gelled into a cohesive entry.  And I don’t blame the lack of caffeine, as I normally don’t have my first cup until I start my office job after lunch.

No, it’s something simpler.

Today I decided for the first time in about a week and a half (not including weekends) to not get up early to write.  I didn’t prime the pump, as it were, and I’m sort of regretting it.  I don’t 100% regret it, mind you, as having a good night’s sleep was great (I’m still working on the getting to bed earlier bit) and I got a good number of things done this morning.  Brought the car in for an oil change, got some groceries, started some laundry, that sort of thing. 

But I do regret my later rising a bit.  Did I choose ‘happiness now’ over ‘happiness later’?  I would say so, yes.  At the same time, I’m sorting through some things I have been learning the past little while in church.  Things such as not pursuing happiness over pursuing truth, rekindling a hunger and desire for God and godly things, ways in which others and myself are intelligent (‘It’s not how intelligent are you,’ my notes read, ‘but how are you intelligent?’).  As such, I’m wondering for perhaps for the bazillionith time if I’m in God’s will or if I’m merely trying to get Him to bless my will.  But, thankfully, even with such questions bouncing around I’m not doing what I would normally do, which would be nothing or close to nothing while waiting for a TBD sign from the heavens as to what to do next.

Because I do know some things which I should never quit doing, thanks to the pastors and teachers I get to learn from on a regular basis – things such as seeking God, worshipping Him and talking to Him, reading my Bible, serving others.

And as Steven Furtick wrote in his April 14/11 blog entry, it’s often in the midst of doing those things we find the other answers we are looking for.  After all, Jesus called His disciples while they were busy in their ‘everyday’ tasks.  God came to talk to Gideon while he was threshing wheat, Elisha was plowing a field when Elijah found and began to disciple him. 

So who knows when God will reveal the next step to you and to me?

Further Musing or Two of an Uncaffeinated Mind

 If you don’t create change,

change will create you.

~Anon.

It’s interesting how when you start hearing about an idea or concept, you’re suddenly hearing about it everywhere and thinking about it a lot more.  Or how you can hear about something for probably years when suddenly it’s expressed in such a way that it clicks inside of you and you have your ‘Now I get it!” moment.  Or maybe you finally hear what’s being said properly, clearly and it’s like someone threw the switch in a previously dark room. 

Such things have been happening to me recently in regards to living life on purpose vs. simply letting life happen to me, as it were.  And some times my focus is where it ought to be, too, so I don’t become self-serving, where the temporary weights and struggles of self-discipline are borne with grace.  Other times I choose ‘happiness now’ over ‘happiness later’ only to later struggle beneath the much-heavier weight of regret. 

There are many things to weigh and consider and ponder, times of prayer and reflection and meditation and honesty that are required to take initiative and to live life in such a way that (as clichéd Gandhi’s words may be) we are the change we want to see in the world. It takes work and effort, it means getting back up and dusting ourselves off no matter how many times we fall.  But I do believe, in the end, we will find it to have been worth it.

Not Stupid

I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself – some Christian fiction drives me crazy.  I have read many stories about people who as soon as they decide to become Christians never make another wrong decision or do another stupid thing in their lives.  They are completely selfless, respond correctly in every situation, never complain, and are never frustrated about anything or anyone.  They never become distracted by the things in this world or snap at their spouse or children, bosses or coworkers.  They are martyrs and saints walking among us mere mortals, awing us all with their wisdom and grace.   

Now I don’t mean to belittle these authors or the characters they have created and the stories they have told.  Honestly, it’s good to have ideals and goals and a picture of how great things can be if we would all really do what the Bible says.  And for the most part, I have enjoyed reading these stories, even if I have felt inadequate in a few or several areas of my life when I’m done reading.  Because there are times, too, where I have honestly been spurred on to do better in my own life by the time I’ve reached the last page.

But I don’t think I’m wired to write such stories . . . or not very many of them at any rate.

And that has got me to thinking the story ideas I have bouncing around in my head, in my heart, aren’t all necessarily stupid, pointless bits of fluff.  That I can use them to encourage others and maybe make them laugh or go “Hey, I do that too!” Maybe I can make them think about something new or help them to see the part of God I was made to reflect.  And maybe even give them some time away from some hard (or simply ‘not great’) circumstances in their own lives via some silly fluff.  (I like to think of it as hot chocolate with whipped cream for the soul.)

We’re all wired in unique ways, with a combination of gifts, talents, abilities and interests no other person has in the exact same measure.  So rather than look at how we’re not measuring up to what someone else is doing, we (and I!) need to keep our focus on God, to go where He would lead us and to let Him use us – rough edges and all.  After all, Jesus didn’t pick twelve perfect men to be his followers.  One was a bit of a loudmouth, another was a thief and His betrayer, and two others were more concerned with getting good seats by Jesus in heaven. 

And this pattern is seen time and again in the Bible – Samson had a weakness for pretty ladies; David took another man’s wife; Moses insisted he could not do what God was asking him to do; Jonah literally tried to run away from the call of God; the apostle Paul, while he was still Saul, was very zealous for God but was missing the mark.  All imperfect people, all with dreams, and all used by God.

It’s like my pastor says – God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.  But here’s a footnote – He does use the uniqueness of each person to fulfill that calling as well.  David’s time as a shepherd gave him a unique perspective as a king.  Saul-then-Paul’s zealousness was a force to be reckoned with when he properly directed it.  And God can use our uniqueness, too.  He put it all in there, after all.  It’s not silly nor is it stupid.  The key, I think, is to not waste it or use it selfishly.