Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Faults & Fears

Between saying and doing
many a pair of shoes is worn out.
~ Italian proverb

I accepted an excuse for being late to today’s writing session I know any employer would never accept from an employee:  I couldn’t find my brown eyeliner.  And things basically snowballed from there.  I had to finish doing my hair, then make a cup of tea, then mop up the tea that sloshed over the rim of my cup onto my desk and then I had to settle my nerves because my house is a mess and so on and so forth.  Gone was the satisfaction of being up in time to do some preliminary writing work before making a lunch for my husband (a little ‘derp’ moment), and then getting in half an hour of exercising. 

This morning is, when I think about it, actually a variation on how the last couple of weeks in particular have been going.  The initial adrenaline rush of making some tweaks and changes has worn off.  The need for what seems to be tedious work has set in.  Reminders of all that needs to be done are plenteous.  Impatience looms, questions and doubts build, and the temptation to write recent pursuits off as a trip down a rabbit trail, to switch back to merely plodding through life snatches at my heels.

Hard work is worthwhile . . .
~ Proverbs 14:23 (CEV)
But I can’t.  Just as I can’t call the coffee from a popular Canadian franchise good after having some truly good coffee at another coffee house, I can’t go back to plodding through my days, simply letting life happen to me.  It’s not a good life.  It’s not a sort of life that testifies of the bigness and awesomeness of the God I serve. 

I don’t mean to say I have aspirations of becoming some sort of a celebrity, of seeing my name in lights (though seeing it on a book jacket in Chapters would be pretty sweet).  No, I’m talking about me (and you) living life on purpose.  Of not sitting on the sidelines watching other people be great at whatever it is they’re great at – whether they’re full-time moms, janitors, teachers, pastors, secretaries, salespeople.  Whatever it is they do.  Whatever it is we do.  We can all do it well, and we can do it all as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23). 

So onwards and upwards it is, then.  In spite of faults and in spite of fears because the One who calls you and me will complete the good work He has begun in us (Philippians 1:6).  We just need to remember it’s not a passive experience on our end, either, and give it all we’ve got too.  I have a hunch it’s something we won’t regret.

1 comment:

RandomThoughts said...

Okay, now I feel even guiltier for going back to bed after getting the men out of the house this AM. To be fair, my senile old dog got me up at 4 AM, then again at 5:30 (forgetting he'd already been out) so it's not like I got a decent night's sleep. Still, my productive day didn't start until nearly noon.

You inspire me to live with more purpose, or at least to start my day with more purpose!