Bits of the Picture

The clock is ticking, the cursor is blinking in my Word document, and I’m sorting through a few things (or trying to) as I sip at a cup of herbal tea.  So far, nothing has gelled into a cohesive entry.  And I don’t blame the lack of caffeine, as I normally don’t have my first cup until I start my office job after lunch.

No, it’s something simpler.

Today I decided for the first time in about a week and a half (not including weekends) to not get up early to write.  I didn’t prime the pump, as it were, and I’m sort of regretting it.  I don’t 100% regret it, mind you, as having a good night’s sleep was great (I’m still working on the getting to bed earlier bit) and I got a good number of things done this morning.  Brought the car in for an oil change, got some groceries, started some laundry, that sort of thing. 

But I do regret my later rising a bit.  Did I choose ‘happiness now’ over ‘happiness later’?  I would say so, yes.  At the same time, I’m sorting through some things I have been learning the past little while in church.  Things such as not pursuing happiness over pursuing truth, rekindling a hunger and desire for God and godly things, ways in which others and myself are intelligent (‘It’s not how intelligent are you,’ my notes read, ‘but how are you intelligent?’).  As such, I’m wondering for perhaps for the bazillionith time if I’m in God’s will or if I’m merely trying to get Him to bless my will.  But, thankfully, even with such questions bouncing around I’m not doing what I would normally do, which would be nothing or close to nothing while waiting for a TBD sign from the heavens as to what to do next.

Because I do know some things which I should never quit doing, thanks to the pastors and teachers I get to learn from on a regular basis – things such as seeking God, worshipping Him and talking to Him, reading my Bible, serving others.

And as Steven Furtick wrote in his April 14/11 blog entry, it’s often in the midst of doing those things we find the other answers we are looking for.  After all, Jesus called His disciples while they were busy in their ‘everyday’ tasks.  God came to talk to Gideon while he was threshing wheat, Elisha was plowing a field when Elijah found and began to disciple him. 

So who knows when God will reveal the next step to you and to me?

Hurry Up and Wait

I have a hard time waiting for things:

-- for friends to show up for coffee.

-- for my husband to finish getting ready on the Sundays I teach Sunday school.

-- for God to speak to me (and that’s on the days I take the time to actually even try to listen).

It’s sort of weird, actually, especially when I know such a verse as this is in the Bible:

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.
--Isaiah 40:31 (NKJ)

In my mind, I often tack on “Teach me Lord, teach me Lord to wait” as per a song we used to sing in church. Yet still, I have a hard time waiting.

But lately I’m having an even harder time with not knowing where I need to/am supposed to be going. Step into my house and see any number of half-started projects, whether it be rearranging the living room or organizing my office. Speaking of my office, you could also look on the computer and find a fair chunk of half-started writing projects.

In a word -- argh!

Yet all this could have been avoided . . . it can be avoided if only I will take the time to do one simple thing: Wait.

I’m sort of nervous and excited about putting Isaiah 40:31 into practice at the same time. Nervous about what I’ll hear, nervous about what it will entail for me, nervous about whether or not I can be patient enough to wait. At the same time I’m excited to find out what it is God wants me to be doing each day.

So I guess I had better hurry up and wait.