Aw, Man . . . The Brakes Don't Work . . .

I don't seem to recall praying for this much change this year.

O_o

At times I wonder where in the world this year has gone, but then I remember doctors' appointments, surgery, hospital visits, test results, chemotherapy, one usually crappy week followed by an okay week followed by a good week only to have the same ol' cycle repeat. So that was February, March, April, May and part of June.

Then there was the easing back into a regular, pre-February routine which was familiar but foreign as some good changes had been made and some things which were neglected were at least being looked at again, if not actually actively pursued just yet. God had provided and was providing. Holidays were coming. Good things were happening.

Then another change was announced which has led to periods of optimism and moments of "???" and musings of how far back to go with a varied work history. And squished in was the wondering of when *I* would really change as a person, when I would see evidence of mine having grown as a Christian, a wife, a daughter/sister/friend/etc. It seems like many things have changed while many other things have stayed the same.

I don't want to be wishy-washy in my faith. I don't want a botched attempt at putting myself 'out there' to cause me to never try again. I don't want to be mired down in the past, immobile in the present or fearful of the future. I mean, c'mon! Look at the God I serve! He is just . . . well, He's God!

So why do I limit Him so at times? Why do I fight against and complain about the changes He knows are 100% in my best interest?

It's time to allow some Abraham-faith to grow in me. He didn't know where God was leading him. God said "Go!" and Abraham packed up his stuff and said "Okay!" and off they went. It wasn't without its ups and downs, but I don't think Abraham regretted it when he looked back from point B to point A.

And neither should I.

So how do we fit what we know of Abraham, our first father in the faith, into this new way of looking at things? If Abraham, by what he did for God, got God to approve him, he could certainly have taken credit for it. But the story we're given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story. What we read in Scripture is, "Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own."

If you're a hard worker and do a good job, you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift. But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift.

*~ Romans 4: 1-5 (The Message)

Don't Be Blue

The blessing of the LORD makes one rich,
and He adds no sorrow with it.
~Proverbs 10:22 (NKJV)

In the past two days, I've learned about two families who may to (or have already had to by now) give up the homes built for them by the popular ABC show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. You can read about these two situations via the following links:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/080728/entertainment/tv_extreme_makeover_foreclosure

http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/20080506_Is_Extreme_Makeover_S_J__house_for_sale_.html

A friend of mine (who found the second article) brought up some pointed observations, which I hope she does not mind my sharing here (if you do, let me know!):

Perhaps EM ought to modify its approach and build more modest homes which are still capable of accommodating the special needs of family members with disabilities. A large, trophy-like home is obviously going to consume more energy, not to mention the tax burden. It's easy to understand that a number of EM families might be deeply in debt for other reasons. Giving a large, elaborate home to deserving persons is a lovely gesture, but what exactly is the advantage if old debt and new financial burdens render the gift untenable? The problem is - who cares when the show is over?

I find myself wishing I had a 'wave a wand' sort of solution for these families and others in similar situations. And there are many, giving the mortgage crisis north of the Canadian border. Though as we all probably know at this point, there is no magic wand or speedy cure. It's often the search for such things that land us in trouble in the first place, unless we go about things God's way.

See the verse at the top? God doesn't add troubles and grief and sorrow and burdens to the riches He gives His kids. Granted, there are times when we think (or maybe not -- I can't speak for everyone!) He doesn't give us enough or that He waits to long or He doesn't give things in the way we would like Him too . . . but look back on what you know to be the blessings and riches of God in your life. Are you sadder for having had them? Properly looked after, did you find yourself in more trouble than you were at first? Do you ever wish you didn't have them?

Oh, please note the 'properly looked after' portion. Again, I can only speak from my experience, but there have been times when God has given me something and I've squandered it. But like the prodigal son, we can come before God, confess our misdeeds and be restored into right standing with Him. And (hallelujah!) we can ask for the ability, the wisdom to steward what we do have and will have in the future. God is faithful, people, and He won't mock you or look down on you for asking for help.

Another thing -- we so often think of the referred-to blessings in Proverbs 10:22 as equalling money to spend on big houses, cars, toys and such because they're making us 'rich'. But a closer look at the original Hebrew* meanings of the following words:

blessing: a blessing, benediction, benefit, favour, peace, invocation of good, a happy, or blessed man. It is used in the sense of a gift or present to gain goodwill. Also, it had the sense of shālōm welfare.

rich**: to accumulate, to grow, to become rich

So we can accumulate and grow in things beyond money. We can grow in peace, in goodwill, in favour, in benefits beyond the monetary. And again, when we do it God's way we can avoid this (also from the original Hebrew):

sorrow : it is a thing formed or shaped . . . labour, toil, gain; trouble, grievance; the kind of pain which women experience when they are about to give birth

What sort of riches do you want? Do I want? Can shows such as Extreme Makeover: Home Edition really give?


*As found in The Complete Word Study of the Old Testament, 1994 AMG Int'l Inc.; pp. 1594, 2307, 2351

**As found in Strong's Concise Dictionary of the Hebrew Bible (located in the back of The Complete Word Study of the Old Testament), p. 92

Time Keeps Ticking Away

Wowza -- time is definitely ticking away! It's already July 2nd and I'm wondering where the first half of the year went. Oh, no, wait . . . I remember. It was mainly dealing with a whole lot of 'unexpecteds' for hubby and I. :-P Not all of it was bad, though, because God truly can use all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

A friend of mine is currently volunteering with CERV - Philippines. This young lady is quite the go-getter and you can follow along on her adventures on her blog -- Volunteer Philippines 2008 -- under the 'Links' section.

I'm discovering while changes in life may not always be pleasant, in many ways they are necessary. Changes to one's diet, for example, are often necessary to improve one's health. Changes in Bible study habits and in prayer time can lead to drawing closer to God. Changes to how one does an 'every day' task can lead to saved time which can be used elsewhere. Yet so often (myself included) we resist change.

I don't know about you, but often I have to first decide what to do with whatever negative thoughts come my way (speaking of changes . . .). Do I listen to those thoughts? Do I believe them? Or do I jump right in with God's promises and God's Word and get on with the business of moving forward? Do I stay where I am or look to where He is leading?

And a lot of times, I'm just overwhelmed by the big picture. I see A, then B, but not all the steps that will get me there in-between. This has often led to me deciding to go do something else. Like watch something (anything, sometimes!) on TLC while searching for some sort of comfort food. Or something. :-P Not a good rut to get into!

But yet God can (and oh so wants to!) help us get out of our self-made ruts. He wants us to put our worries and our fretting and our fears aside. The following verses from the Bible have been bubbling up over the past little bit in my mind (and heart):

". . . Come to Me, all of you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for you souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28, 29 (NKJ)

"Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? . . . Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." ~Matthew 6:27, 34 (NKJ)

"Give us this day, our daily bread." ~Matthew 6:11 (NKJ)

So God knew I'd have all these things to face. He knew (and knows) every choice I'll make before I make it. And yet, when I know I've screwed things up, if I look, if I wait, I'll find His provision to get out of the rut or whatever else I've gotten myself into. It won't always be easy, it will frankly suck at times. But He will be there, His light shining through the darkness of my worries and fears and blunders.

And that gives me hope to carry on, to change, even as time keeps moving along.

I'm Over Here!!

Recognition!!

We all want it and we all need it, I think, in some form or another. And it's a tricky thing to deal with when we a) realize that and b) don't get it.

And I'd pontificate (did I use that word correctly?) on it some more, but it's late, my bed is looking pretty dang comfy, and the cat could be gearing up to stalk me again or the computer mouse. (I'm hoping for the latter, but it's probably the former . . .)

Oh, hey -- something to talk about amongst yourselves: What do you do when you realize those in church leadership are human? That they will (and do!) make mistakes? And if you're in church leadership in some capacity or another and make a mistake, what do you do?

And why is Word Twist (thanks, Facebook . . . maybe) so *hard* for some and so easy for others?

Okay -- bed! Sleep!

This 'n' That

For the first time in a few weeks, I think, I'm at home while my husband is out doing something!! This is exciting news, as due to this, that, and the other we've been spending more time together than usual. Now I don't mean that is a bad thing (spending more time together), but I came to the realization we do need time to refresh and recharge and such individually. Plus I can hover like all get-out when he's not feeling well so he gets some breathing space too. ;-)

Isn't it a good thing that we can never have too much 'together time' with God? Man, wouldn't that just suck if there was such a thing?

Person: "God, I've really been enjoying spending more time with You lately."

God: "Meh, I think I need some time to Myself - I'm feeling a little crowded."

Hello! So not God! (But so much us, eh? And usually when we want to go be schmucks or something.)

I bought an iMac this past weekend and I'm ridiculously excited to have found out how to expand the browser window. Amazing what a tutorial will do for a person. (Again, then why don't I read/study my Bible more??)

I'm also getting the itch to get going on my long-languishing novel again and work on 'the other blog' which has also been languishing for awhile.

Speaking of which . . .

What About Grace?

So I was on-line yesterday afternoon, trying to get some stuff together for a project I still don't have done when I discovered the lead singer of a group I like had married a solo artist I have enjoyed in the past. I knew the one person had been married and divorced a few years ago and had made some questionable career choices. And I discovered this person had apparently made some recently, as there was a blog which felt it was its duty to keep a continual reminder up of this person's faux pas.

As I talked with my husband about it later, I said I had the urge to post on this person's web site that he or she is really acting like a Pharisee. I wanted to point out there is only one sin Jesus said was unforgivable (blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12: 31-32)), that God forgives and forgets our sins when we genuinely repent, that grace covers a multitude of sins and hey, how big is that plank your eye? But hubby said such a thing would be pointless -- it wouldn't change their minds. Plus it is the goodness of God which brings men to repentance (Romans 2:4), not my sarcastic replies and jabs.

It's sad, really, how so many of us in the Christian community can judge each other (I'm as guilty as anyone else), finding Scriptures to back up our wrong stances and misconceptions. Sure, look at the person's fruit and see where they're at. Be careful who you associate with and all of that. But then remember what many a person has been taught, Christian and non-Christian, as the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. (Mark 12:31, Galatians 6:7).

And remember the great grace and love and mercy which have been bestowed upon you. Unearned. Undeserved. But available to all who will receive it.

Don't Mind Me While I Prattle

From the Merriem-Webster dictionary:

Main Entry: 1 prat·tle
Pronunciation: \ˈpra-təl\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): prat·tled; prat·tling \ˈprat-liŋ, ˈpra-təl-iŋ\
Etymology: Low German pratelen; akin to Middle Dutch praten to prate
Date: 1532
intransitive verb
1 : prate
2 : to utter or make meaningless sounds suggestive of the chatter of children : babble
transitive verb
: to say in an unaffected or childish manner

So consider yourself forewarned. ;-)

Any which way, there is, it seems, a lot of things going on in my life and around my life at the moment and sometimes it's all just plain overwhelming. How do I prioritize? What is the correct way to deal with some things? How much space do you allow for people to talk to the person you know who is *really* going through something serious while still seeking out the words of comfort and stuff you need? How do you ask for help when everyone else around you is as busy, if not busier, than you are at the moment?

What about when you're thinking you're just totally missing the boat with God? That all you come to Him with is a list of requests and complaints and uncertainties? When your faith feels more like the bottom of the Red Sea as the children of Israel crossed over it all those years ago than anything that will actually touch God and His provisions? What do you do when it feels like you have a thousand questions, but are scared to hear what the answers could be?

I know I often don't handle stressful situations well. I can get testy, crabby, overly-emotional, or (as when my husband and I moved into a new house) get sick. I try to push things down to deal with at a more appropriate time but that doesn't always work either. But, in retrospect, I can see signs of improvement in that so there is hope for more positive changes to be made.

Maybe I'm just tired and need some more sleep . . .