>_<

What kind of a title is " >_< " you may be wondering.

I'll tell you: It's one I've managed to not delete.

sigh

Are some things really as complicated as what they currently seem to be, or is it just me?

Actually . . . >_< is rather fitting.

(This is why I rarely update this lately. Too much >_<.)

(Hopefully) Whine-Free

So my decision to wait on God for His leading in various things has led to some startling discoveries:

1. I don't take a lot of time each day to really listen to God.

2. I'm not tremendously patient.

3. When I'm really stressed, I like to eat ice cream.

Okay, maybe they're not all that startling or revelatory, but man -- waiting. Who thought it would be so hard? I mean, I can wait in doctors' offices, cars, malls, coffee shops and the like. Granted I often have other things to occupy myself with such as magazines, other people, and driving safely. Why the difficulty waiting for things to come into that right time with God's plans? Why the need to barrel on ahead and do something? Is it so wrong to just sit and listen and look at the things there are to do now and do, well, those things?

I was talking to a friend about it and she put forth an analogy that is helping me in the waiting aspect of things:

Just get your focus back on God and relax, knowing that it's out of your hands, knowing that timing is everything. If that cake is taken out of the oven five minutes too soon, it falls flat and is raw in the middle; five minutes too late, it's tough and dry. But right on time? It's high and moist and flavorful. Perfect.

And I'll just leave it at that.

One tangent, though: Nicholas Sparks. I have one of his books ("A Walk to Remember"), but cannot bring myself to seriously read any more than that one or see any of the movies based on his other bestsellers. They're just too . . . dramatic and overly saccharine in my opinion (I have flipped through more than one, so I'm not wholly uneducated in said opinion). I guess I'm just not an epic romance kind of a woman. I'll take the wit of Jane Austen any day over the "I love you but I can't be with you oh wait I can until something big and epic tears us apart but I will love you forever and forever live alone if something happens to you because that's just how great our love was even though we may not have always even known each other that long" stuff.

Now I'm done. ;-)

Hurry Up and Wait

I have a hard time waiting for things:

-- for friends to show up for coffee.

-- for my husband to finish getting ready on the Sundays I teach Sunday school.

-- for God to speak to me (and that’s on the days I take the time to actually even try to listen).

It’s sort of weird, actually, especially when I know such a verse as this is in the Bible:

But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.
--Isaiah 40:31 (NKJ)

In my mind, I often tack on “Teach me Lord, teach me Lord to wait” as per a song we used to sing in church. Yet still, I have a hard time waiting.

But lately I’m having an even harder time with not knowing where I need to/am supposed to be going. Step into my house and see any number of half-started projects, whether it be rearranging the living room or organizing my office. Speaking of my office, you could also look on the computer and find a fair chunk of half-started writing projects.

In a word -- argh!

Yet all this could have been avoided . . . it can be avoided if only I will take the time to do one simple thing: Wait.

I’m sort of nervous and excited about putting Isaiah 40:31 into practice at the same time. Nervous about what I’ll hear, nervous about what it will entail for me, nervous about whether or not I can be patient enough to wait. At the same time I’m excited to find out what it is God wants me to be doing each day.

So I guess I had better hurry up and wait.

Hope, Change & Koolaid Gravy

It's official -- Barack Obama is officially the President of the United States. Apparently a fair number of my fellow Canadians believe he will do a smashing job as Commander in Chief. They may even be looking for a potential Obama-like leader among our own political players.

*crickets*

(Not that we don't have good leaders -- we do. They're just not rock stars. And I'm thankful for that.)

I know people on both sides of the political fence in the States -- those who are thrilled Obama is in and Bush is out and those who are not sure what an Obama presidency means and that Bush was a good leader. Many in the media and in Hollywood also hold to the former point of view, with a generous portion of BSD on the side. Or in the middle. It's hard to tell -- it's sort of like the gravy on your plate at Thanksgiving in that it seeps into everything.

Now I'm for allowing people to voice their dissenting opinions. And I'm not denying that former President Bush, like all of the men who held the office before him, has made mistakes. But I do hope and believe, really, he did the best he could under circumstances which would try the mettle of any man. I also hope the bashing of Bush will abate over time (though I'm not certain it will). In a way it amazes me how much hatred and spite and mockery has been heaped upon this man. Again, I'm not saying people are horrible for chuckling over gaffes here 'n there or, again, acknowledging mistakes and missteps. I am saying, however, it is not right or decent to treat an incumbent or outgoing president the way George W. Bush has so often been treated. It's sad, really.

But there is why it does not really surprise me, either:

Matthew 5:10-12 (The Message)

10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

God bless you, former President Bush. And God bless you, President Obama. May you both walk in His will for your lives.

Some Favourite Things

So last year I bought The Best Life Diet by Bob Greene not only because I want to lose some weight, but also because I realize my husband and I need to change our overall eating habits. This book had some delicious looking recipes so I picked it up and finally began reading it a little while ago. So far, so good! I'm impatient to get to the 'lose body fat' part of it, but I appreciate Bob taking the time to lay a good foundation on how weight loss works and why 'slow and steady' is really the best way to go. And it really is about a lifestyle change.

Speaking of food, Mr. Scribbler and I have also enjoyed watching Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares (the bleeped American version) and Gordan Ramsey's other show, The F Word (the 'f' word being 'food', not the other one he is way too fond of). Mr. Scribbler enjoys the former in particular as it reminds him of the time he spent working in the restaurant business as a cook (and it is pretty entertaining). I like both shows as they are piquing my interest in cooking real food as I've become too much of a 'heat and go' cook myself. (If anyone has some good cookbook (or web recipe web sites) suggestions, let me know via the comments section!)

I've also been enjoying some discussions as of late with fellow Christians as to different doctrines, church programs, youth ministry, culture and the like. It is, for present lack of a better word, neat. And stimulating. It's not taking the place of faith -- it's helping firm up why behind my faith. Granted, some things are just not going to be known by us this side of heaven but God never told us to check the brains He gave us at the door, either.

What are some of your favourite things so far in '09?

Set My Course Upon the Stars

I have often commented to those in my peer/social group how as a child there were days that couldn’t seem to go by fast enough (typically the days before a holiday, Christmas, and/or a birthday), but as an adult the days -- the years -- just seem to go whizzing by.

Take today, for instance. I spent four hours at work before having a nice lunch out with my husband, after which we ran some errands and then headed home. Amazingly, two hours have gone by since then in which I’ve done some good things and some things that were, just, well, a real waste of time to be honest.

:P

And I am a bit boggled to think another year is drawing to a close! It seems with each wedding anniversary, each birthday, each year, I marvel at the amount of time behind me. I look at where I am with things in life compared to my parents, my siblings, my friends and acquaintances. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the right spot, other times I feel like I’m off the mark by miles. But through it all, time keeps moving forward. There is no time machine or magic wand to allow me a trip back in time to correct my mistakes, take a different path, to speak up or quiet down.

And in every part of every day, there is God. Unchanging. All-knowing. Unfettered by the things which we mere mortals so often desire to change. He is absolutely unsurprised by anything I do. He knows me better than I know myself, and through it all His love remains steadfast and sure. God’s blessings are conditional, His love is not.

So as we all look ahead to 2009, I hope we all look to the Maker of the stars, to the Giver of every good gift, to the One who truly loves us warts and all and who loves us too much to leave us struggling with our own particular set of knots.

Happy New Year!

The Best & the Beautiful*

Another year is drawing to a close, another birthday is almost upon me and once again I find myself in a reflective mood. What has been done this past year? What was good? What was bad? What needs to be tossed and what needs to be kept?

Now the above reflections seem innocent enough, but I have a tendency to focus on the negative and miss the good when it comes to what I’ve done with what God has given me. Crazy, I know, but it’s a mindset I’m learning to lay down and leave at the foot of the Cross.

What I’m finding tricky, I guess, is having an accurate view of myself. I don’t want to get bogged down by the negatives, but I don’t want to blind to them either because then how do I change them; or, more accurately, how can God change them?

Paul, as he so often does, has some good advice:

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

~Philippians 4: 8-9 (The Message)

I’m not much of a gardener, but I do know if I’m focused solely on getting rid of the weeds the beautiful plants and flowers will eventually die from neglect. Also, if I make sure the ‘good’ plants are healthy and strong, the weeds will not have much of a chance to flourish. And to use the driving analogy again, where I want to go is where I need to focus. So yes, I’ll deal with the weeds. My focus, however, will be on the One Who, when I trust in Him, will guide my steps (see Proverbs 3: 5-8) because that is a true win-win-win** situation.

*I’m sensing a theme with the last few entries . . . how about you? ;-)
**A win for today, tomorrow, and eternity :-)